10 things I hate about Paan addicts

10 things I hate about Paan addicts

1. They always have one in their mouth.  It’s like they can’t breathe without one in their mouth. The paan is their version of fish gills.
2. Their red paan stained teeth. Seriously, I shudder whenever they laugh and I get a glimpse of their teeth and whatever God forsaken gunk is left over when they finish their paan. It’s like no one told them about the toothbrush being invented.
3. Their attempt to converse with you whilst their mouth is full of paan and a litre of paan juice. I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING!!! It’s like your gargling with blood in your mouth!! Gahh you are SPRAYING  paan juice everywhere, CLOSE YER MOUTH ALREADY!!!!
4. You will always find that their clothes have a paan stain somewhere or the other. If you can’t spot one it’s because the clothes are new or their paan wala hasn’t opened his shop yet.
5. Now this one does not always happen but some of the more inexperienced paan eaters always seem to have some paan juice leaking from the corners of their mouth. And if they are pale enough they manage to pull off the vampire-just-fed look which just pisses me off after twilight ruined vampires.
6. The fact that when leaving a wedding the entrance/exit is usually crowded because the paan wala is surrounded by paan addicts who need their fix. And you can’t push pass them because  they spent more than an hour without a paan in their mouth and they are bloody dangerous at the moment.
7. Their unholy multitasking abilities. According to them Tea + paan = good, Food + paan = flavor much improved, cigarette + paan = life is good, paan + paan = EPIC!!!
8. Their nasty red spit! It’s like they need to mark the surrounding area to show they have been there. Hardly a day goes by without me seeing  men lean out car doors and shower the road red while idling at a signal. THEY WANT TO PAINT THE WHOLE CITY RED!!
9. Their insensitivity to where they spit. I’ve seen people get showered with paan juice spit from windows of apartments and speeding buses.
10. The No spitting sign is always covered with paan spit! They do it on purpose to SPITE ME!!!