Things that simply piss me off!!

As a practising Muslim I try hard to keep my temper in check and succeed most of the time. The trick is to imagine yourself kicking the hell out of the person responsible for said act of rage. But that trick is easily made futile by some people who manage to piss you off more than you thought possible. Listening to such people is almost certain to increase your blood pressure, give you splitting headaches and/or give you muscle cramps from when you continuously flex n unflex them in hopes of beating the crap out of them. I personally feign uninterest or boredom till they leave me alone but it helps if I sometimes imagine myself punching them in the face. But what I seriously want to do then is to bash my head on something hard so I lose consciousness and don’t spend another moment listening to their drivel or in their company. And so begins a series of blog posts of what and who piss me off, starting with…

1. Those window washing children at traffic signals

Ok, I admit some of them are pretty decent as they signal to you, walking up to your car, whether you want them to clean your windscreen. They go away if you say “No” or show them the finger( both work fine really). BUT the rest of them don’t bother asking you whether you want your windscreen washed. They just walk up, slap their wet squeegee on the windscreen and start cleaning while you repeatedly honk your car horn, scream NO obscenely loud or show them the finger. Doesnt make a bit of difference to them really as they ignore you until their work is done or until you turn the wipers on and/or jump out of the car to stop them. But anyway after stopping they walk up to you and start demanding payment for unneeded services rendered. Yes, even if you tried to stop them physically then as soon as you sit back in the car they waltz up with a smirk and hold out their hands for payment.

Infact my arguments with them usually go like so..

Cheeky window washing girl(CWWG): “Payment.”

Me: “For what?!”

CWWG: “Um cleaning your windscreen.”

Me: “Did I tell you to do that? Did I?”

CWWG: “Well its done now anyway so pay me.”

Me: “Listen you little devil! I wouldn’t pay you if you cleaned my arse for all that matters. Get lost!”

Now I start rolling up my window signalling the end of this brief argument when the CWWG leans over and slaps her squeegee on the windscreen and runs away leaving it a soapy, sudsy mess. Before I can even open my mouth to let the flood of obscenities spill forth, the traffic signal turns green and I with my face red with rage am forced to drive away cursing that little turd! And if that wasnt enough then let me tell you that they don’t differentiate between a clean and dirty windscreen, they are all fair game to them and if you are lucky then they might be using clean water because most of the time the water is a nasty shade of brown. Just imaging this happening when you stop at the signal on your way back from getting your car cleaned and polished. If you don’t end up punching the steering wheel in anger or jumping our of the car to throttle the life out of them the you my fine fellow are a wuss!!!

The rest soon to follow inshAllah.